Sacrifices

This week has been the most stressful week so far. I had three tests this week and I’m happy with most of the results. I thought that maybe since this week has been so busy with test taking that maybe my professors would calm down with the homework. I fail to realize that everything is nonstop here. After this week of seeing how testing works I am determined to set better study habits. A lot people tell me to set a time limit to when I study but that’s not something that I do. When I have work to do I do it at the best time suitable for me. I can make myself do something that I don’t want to do in a given amount of time. I have to work on my own terms because I know I will get my work done I just don’t need the extra pressure. I’m already making sacrifices, realizing that there is no time for extracurricular activity I decided not to stay in Shabach because I wanted to focus more on my work. Half the time when I get out of class I’m just ready to go home I don’t want to stay at the school till 9 and be too tired to drive home. So with Shabach out of the way I have more time to focus on school work. However I do plan on getting back into the choir when I get used to managing my work and school. I also want to look into joining other clubs in getting into more activities just so that I can feel like I’m a part of something. At times I wish that I stayed in basketball I liked the feeling of being around teammates that turn into good friends and basketball was actually something I was really good at it. I’m sure that my brother and my dad will push me to get back into but I feel like it’s too late for that and like I said I just want to focus on my work. When I find that balance I think I’ll be good. I will be stress free and I won’t have to worry about falling behind and being too tired to do work. I’m just not used to change but I’m still trying to adjust to college life. As I sign off on this blog I will be doing homework and hopefully I will be able to go out and do something of interest because work, work, work, and no play is not how I want to spend my weekend. However this is the life of a college student making sacrifices to get your work done.

Too Much Work

School is so frustrating!! I feel like I have no life. I have been trying to keep myself together all day. Friday as soon as I got home I decided that I was going to just relax and worry about all my work and studying for Saturday. Well although I woke up early enough to start my studying for my Anatomy and Physiology test I quickly found myself being very distracted. Regardless of the fact that I was distracted I keep pushing myself to get through at least one chapter. When I tell myself to push through my work it almost seems rushed. I know for a fact that when I rush through my readings I don’t pay attention! So I have to take a moment and tell myself to really focus on what I have to do. As I’m posting this now I’m still trying to get work done. I just thought since I know tomorrow is going to be even more hectic and draining that I’d get this out of the way. The feeling of being overwhelmed is not good when you have 3 exams to be worried about. My exams are as follows math on Monday, anatomy and physiology on Tuesday, and psychology on Wednesday. I am not excited about this week at all. I can’t wait till it’s all over! My sister, a student UTSA, makes studying and doing homework so easy. Seeing her do so well makes me ask myself is there something wrong me because I just don’t have the motivation to do this half the time. As much as I don’t want to let work pile up it just happens anyway. My positive mind and thinking quickly fades when a lot of work is put on my plate. At home my family sees my frustration. They question me every day and they try to help me get through my college experiences but I honestly just don’t want to hear it. I love the fact that they push me and try to motivate me to do better but I think when your mind is so wrapped up in trying to do so good in everything knowing that there’s a lot of work involved in every subject it’s pointless. I kind of feel like words won’t this situation. Smh (shaking my head) I need to do something to get over this lack of enthusiasm to learn and do work because this is definitely out of character for me!

Reactions to College Life Week 3:Bad and Good

    This week has been a mess!! Everyday I wake up I think to myself it's going to be a good day but once I step into class I get the feeling that something is wrong. Usually when I get that feeling I'm right. Over the labor day weekend my math professor assigned a project for us to do with one other partner. He assigned this assignment at the end of class stating that class would be canceled for Friday because he would be attending a funeral. Nobody in the class knew anything about this project's meaning. I couldn't understand why he would just give us assignment and not explain how to do it! I was pretty upset about that because I for one hate math with a passion. I don't think I have ever hated something so much in my life, math is just that one thing I must focus on. So my partner and I strained our brains trying to do this project only to find out that we would get no where. We had met up with  other classmates to help us better understand it but that only got us so far. Come Wednesday when it's time to turn the project in my partner and I had an incomplete project. Now I know that I probably should have emailed him but I thought that out of respect that I would let him deal with the loss of a close friend or family member without any disruptions with school work. With an incomplete project turned in my partner and I talked to the professor about the assignment and he reluctantly sent out a email to let us retry the project. That was very much appreciated! So for the remainder of the week I had been staying on campus later than usual to get extra help on my math assignments and to get work done ahead of time.
   On the bright side of my college experience I was offered to sing with the Shebach Gospel Choir. Although I love to sing I'm afraid of new environments. However once I got to the practice I loved it. Everyone was real down to earth and happy to be there. I knew as soon as we started harmonizing and feeling the music that I was going to be dedicated to being apart of the choir. I guess at sometimes even when you're afraid of something you have to be able to put your guard down and be open to new things...that's how you learn.

Reactions to College Life

 From day one I have been skeptical about "College Life". I don't know what it is that made me just want to relive high school life all over again. I honestly think that I was in shock. I couldn't grasp the fact that I'm actually done with what seems like the easier years of my life, relying on family and friends to help me get through everything is no longer a option for me. College is so much different then high school. I just feel like I'm starting all over again but this time I'm really on my own.  I walked onto the TLU campus completely alone. Then for me to see everybody already in their cliques just made me feel out of place. Since I am deathly shy it's hard for me to just approach people and spark up a conversation and that put me at a big disadvantage.  It would have been easier for me to meet new people if I was staying on campus but for some reason which seems absolutely ridiculous to me now I decided to commute back and forth from San Antonio. That had to be the dumbest decision I've made since school started but my dad played a big part in that decision as well. His feelings are going to be hurt when I tell him I'm looking for a roommate. He just needs to learn to let go I won't be gone forever!! Anyways back to this "College Life" talk, I have never felt so drained in my life!! There is so much to keep up on, I feel like I never get a break. When I do take a break and I want to do something fun I'm always too tired and I go straight to my bed, I just can't win for losing! Don't get me wrong I know how to pace myself and get my work done but this is on a whole other level. Back in high school I could go to basketball practice, choir rehearsal, work, club meetings, hang out with friends, and still have time to do all of my assignment's. However now I'm not involved in anything and although I do have one good friend here I'm still overwhelmed with work, trying to keep up. It seems like it's the end of the world.People always tell me "it will get better with time" and in the back of my head I'm saying "what are you talking about? I don't have time to do much of anything!" Frustration runs high within me but because I live through faith I do believe that "it will get better with time", it's only the beginning and I have so much more ahead of me so I guess I should just get myself together, stop talking, and just do because time does not wait for anyone.